The programme is known for its ridiculous rounds and games, such as Mornington Crescent and Word Disassociation played completely for laughs by the panellists who, to the untrained eye, might appear at first to be playing for points. ", "Samantha was telling us before the show she's been visiting a nice gentleman racehorse owner in his stables recently. The teams take it in turns to sing various lines in order to make up a the verses of a madrigal. ", "We call the next game Word for Word; it's a word game. Sit down, Madam." 25 of Peter Kays most ingenious jokes and one-liners Your new spectacles have arrived and are ready for collection. 20:57 EDT 23 Sep 2012 ", "While Samantha nips out to warm up her little Morris", "While Samantha nips over to Prague for a quick check-up", "Before I nip out with Samantha for a time honoured blow on the seafront", "While Samantha and I nip out with my flexible friend to make a large withdrawal", "As Samantha tells me it's time to let her whippet out", "Samantha tells me she's expecting a visit from a film producer in her dressing room after the show. I found it very frustrating. As BBC Radio 4 agrees not to tone down Im Sorry I Havent a Clue, here are some of the show's smutty Samantha jokes over the past four decades. Yours Sincerely, Mrs. Trellis. Born in 1972, it was something of a continuation of the Sketch Show I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again (which was also the origin of Monty Python's Flying Circus and The Goodies). The inspiration was always there to do something more quirky, more daring, more stupid and, occasionally, even more outrageously knob-gag-laden. We note that although you will provide adequate chariot parking for visitors, the attractions proximity to the A344 and A303 junction is likely to cause severe traffic congestion. Started by Jemble Fred, May 26, 2005, 02:52:40 PM. Still, it was during one of those famous comradely Cryer phone calls of which we have all heard so much that the roots of The Clue Bible, my first weighty slab, covering over 50 years of British comedy history, first found soil.Back in the mid-2000s, I was a veteran videogame journalist who in my spare time performed sketches in a double act, and tried to get my children's stories published. Another bumper collection of classic fun and games from one of BBC Radio 4's best-loved and most enduring comedy panel games. When Humphrey Lyttelton was alive, and I'd meet fans of Radio 4's I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, and they discovered I wrote his scripts, the conversation would invariably . . It reads: "When I heard Colin Sell playing the mouth organ, I rushed in just in time to catch his set. What do you think? You can't see the other half, because some fool has put a 700 foot bicycle wheel in the way. Reaction to BBC Radio Comedy is incredibly subjective, but I'm afraid I found tonight's episode (kicking off a new run) pretty feeble. From I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue, 1995. Weve always tried to do the show, says Garden, as if there were quite a severe BBC censor still in existence and we were obliged to get in the dirty jokes through innuendo rather than saying the words directly. 100 of the funniest short jokes that will have you laughing in seconds Alternative definitions for some familiar English words: Macaroon To leave a Scotsman on a desert island, Mishmash What Sean Connery will do if he doesnt get to church on Sunday, Pantomime Underwear for the hard of hearing, Pastiche What Sean Connery eats in Cornwall, Pomegranate Australian for a Englishman made of stone, Reindeer A Michael Winner weather prediction, Scruple Cross between a screw top and a ring pull, Tenure How they describe a decade in the West Country, Testicle A boat makers first attempt at a coracle, Toll Where you try to put the ball in on a Yorkshire golf course, Truculent That lorry you used to rent out, Warehouse A person who turns into a house at the Full Moon, Wince A setting on Jonathan Rosss washing machine, The comments below have not been moderated, By The following are transcripts of those introductions.. Series 57, Episode 1. Barry Cryer, Graeme Garden, Tim Brooke-taylor, Jack Dee Et Al To Michelangelo, His Holiness wants the ceiling plain magnolia emulsion. Wait a minute, there's a bit here I didn't read. Each show is hosted in a particular town around the UK and includes an introduction with trivia-based-jokes about the host town. 35 of Blackadders most cunning quips and insults 29 of the most outlandishly funny Mighty Boosh quotes I then begin to type, inspired by the thought of how the hell I'm going to pay the mortgage. ", "This week we can promise you a nail-biting contest followed by a nose-picking contest. He also said he had never been so proud as when fellow jazzman George Melly, probably the filthiest raconteur ever to have scandalised an audience, claimed to be shocked at what Humph was getting away with. 105 of the best clean jokes and one-liners By ", "Samantha has to nip out now, as she is off to see a Scots trawlerman friend, whose vessel needs to go in for repairs. All rights reserved. With Jeremy, the reason he was so bad was that he had never sung in public. Apparently he has this dream of handling The Spice Girls. People often talk of the rich, slightly posh, authoritarian tone of Humph's voice. To claim that Humph didn't know what he was doing on Clue is, of course, complete nonsense. It consists of two teams of two comedians "given silly things to do" by a chairman. 50 of Frankie Boyles funniest (and darkest) jokes ", "Accompaniment here will be provided by Colin Sell at the piano. In what way is it a farm? He lays ribbons of sticky wax paper on her thighs and then lets them dry. 30 of Stephen Frys funniest jokes and quotes 'Wait while someone comes on with piece of cardboard.'". I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue The self-styled antidote to panel games. But there was a later communication that his wife and family were upset and would the BBC calm us down a bit. It may not have said so in his passport, but he was one of the wittiest comedians I ever met - one who could go off-script with the sharpest ad-libs. All rights reserved. I don't think I was meant to read that bit." ", "Canterbury today is an interesting mix of traditional and modern buildings, due to the large number of bombs dropped during the last war. I hate people who think its clever to take drugs like custom officers. She visits the old men down there every so often to get new material for the show, but it's a trifle unorganised down there. Lazy cow hasnt even taken her milk in for a fortnight!, Try saying: Whale Oil Beef Hooked without sounding like an Irish man swearing., One of my friends went on a murder weekend now he is doing life for it., A sewage farm. P.S. Garden remembers: We had one complaint about Samantha, which the BBC took incredibly seriously and promised she would be removed from the premises. I'M SORRY I HAVEN'T A CLUE. 100 of the best jokes for kids that are actually funny Childhood - young gangster. Another bumper collection of classic fun and games from the award-winning BBC Radio 4 comedy show. ", "Dear Dr. Clare, So pleased to hear that Tim Brooke-Taylor is back - without him the show was like Hamlet without the balcony scene.". Yours sincerely, Mrs. Trellis, North Wales, Dear David Dickinson, I can sum up why the BBC have your programme on TV every night in three words: Cheap As Chips. ", "Samantha has to nip out now as she is meeting her new zookeeper gentleman friend. So me and Harry Hill wrote signs saying: Barry! and held them up. One running joke (usually by Graeme Garden) is the appearance of Mr and Mrs Bennett- (Long phrase of exclamation relevant to the subject) and their son Gordon, the joke being that this is an easy cop-out (e.g., at the Builders . But that was not long before he died [in 2021].. Here are some of the funnyman's most hysterically glum jokes: "I hate people who think it's clever to take drugs - like custom officers. Yes, Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into. Im just suprised I haven't seen a chopper with the Diamond Dogs or MSF logos on them. Im Sorry I Havent a Clue is greatest radio comedy, says panel, Original reporting and incisive analysis, direct from the Guardian every morning, 2023 Guardian News & Media Limited or its affiliated companies. 38 of the most darkly funny League of Gentlemen quotes Free shipping for many products! Beloved comedian and writer Barry Cryer has passed away at the age of 86. Mayhew-Archers view is that we were able to get away with jokes in Clue that other shows couldnt because Graeme and Tim [Brooke-Taylor of The Goodies] and the others were revered. He also has problems with the words "stop", "that", "dreadful" and "racket". I think the Clue boys were quite pleased to have fresh people in Jan Ravens. When Humphrey Lyttelton was alive, and I'd meet fans of Radio 4's I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, and they discovered I wrote his scripts, the conversation would invariably go something like this: "It must be such a joy to work with Humph. With Barry Cryer, Graeme Garden and Tim Brooke-Taylor, Stephen Fry, Jack Dee and Rob Brydon deputise as chairman of the antidote to panel games. He just found certain things funny, and he shared them with people around him whom he hoped would also find them funny. The rule was that the joke was always clean on the page, with the laughter coming solely from the mis-hearing - literally, in the double entendre. a lamppost, Et tu. Panel Game (according to the introduction, "the antidote to panel games") broadcast on BBC Radio 4 and the "classic radio" station BBC 7. 25 of Rik Mayalls greatest quotes Aren't they a bunch of bastards, all that finger up the. He is key to the 50-year-old round One Song to the Tune of Another, whose highlights include performances such as Rob Brydon singing the theme from Spider-Man to Bring Him Home from Les Misrables, and the heroic tone-deafness of Jeremy Hardy. A Mrs Trellis of North Wales has written in to complain that the show has 'an enormous fistful of rampant innuendo rammed into every crack', but only a truly filthy-minded person would think such a thing. You can imagine how things were livened up in that turkey abbatoir. In fact, they no longer were my words. Iain Pattinson the man who wrote the gags for I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, recalls his razor-sharp wit, Original reporting and incisive analysis, direct from the Guardian every morning, 2023 Guardian News & Media Limited or its affiliated companies. ", "Actually, Colin was telling us before the show that he once toured Britain with The Monkees then Mr. Chipperfield promoted him to the elephants and gave him a bigger shovel. You can use it for sandwiches all through January. Dandelion - camp Big Cat. Orbison, of course, was nicknamed 'The Big O', and in turn, he affectionately referred to Colin as 'That Little C'", "Piano accompaniment will be provided by Colin Sell, who tells me that his musical influences are Middle-Eastern in origin mostly Shi'ite!". I could hear the cheeky glint in his eye. ", "Well, it's time to meet the teams and I can honestly say you couldn't ask for four better comedians. So what I can say from experience is that it takes a lot of guts and perseverance and courage to stop drinking. ", "Despite this only three expressions of Scottish derivation are in regular use: kilt, haggis, and Partick Thistle nil. Extracted from Im Sorry I Havent A Clue: The Best Of Forty Years by Barry Cryer, Graeme Garden, Tim Brooke-Taylor, Jack Dee et al, to be published by Preface on October 4 at 20. Even now the authorities regularly uncover unstable cases carrying decaying material which have to be handled with the greatest of care. Tweet us @TeleTweetures with your thoughts. 45 of the funniest 8 out of 10 Cats jokes He really should use a stronger denture fixative if he's going to blow that hard. Then, Samantha says, she likes to watch as he rips the paper strips and wax off for her", "It just occurred to me that Samantha hasn't given us the scoressince 1981. ", "Musical accompaniment will be provided in this round at the piano by Colin Sell. Here's some of her excuses for leaving early: **Important** - A warning about a new book about Humphrey Lyttelton. We are no longer accepting comments on this article. Approaching what would have been his 87th birthday, he told an audience in Eastbourne: "It makes a nice change to be one of the youngest people in the room.". Veteran comedian and unflinching miseryguts Jack Dee is set to embark on his first stand-up tour for six years. 41 of Stewart Francis most ingenious jokes and one-liners They're going on a driving tour of Wales. Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand broadcast an offensive phone call to the actor Andrew Sachs. Humph redefined the role of the comedy panel game chairman. 34 of the best Valentines Day jokes and funniest one-liners (Humphrey Lyttleton's final joke on the show, recorded shortly before his death in April 2008), "You'll be accompanied by Colin Sell on the piano. Schindler Goes To Ryman's, Buys A Biro And A Notebook, Freud-Grown Tomatoes at the Weasel's Top Cafe, The Reigning Pain Stays Mainly on the Plane, Learn how and when to remove this template message, https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=I%27m_Sorry_I_Haven%27t_a_Clue&oldid=3242984, "Samantha tell us she has to nip off now to see her gentleman beautician friend now, who has a leg hair treatment for her. All-night sitting I shouldnt have had those oysters. 50 of the best lines from Peep Show Let me introduce four of them. He seems sure she's gonna make it big. 70. Perhaps encouraging complaints about schoolboy humour was the fact that despite the early inclusion of Jo Kendall the stand-out panellists were for a long time blokes. Famed for his brand of fed-up, bone-dry humour, few comics have shown an ability, or willingness, to fume at the mundanity of modern-day life like the 57-year-old. I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue (2008 TV Movie) Humphrey Lyttelton: Self - Host Showing all 17 items Jump to: Quotes (17) Quotes Humphrey Lyttelton : Incidentally, Colin's piano playing is widely believed by faith healers to hold miraculous powers. 31 Richard Madeley quotes, gaffes and surreal moments that prove he truly is Alan Partridge Even though I was responsible for what I like to describe as "post-feminist irony" (known in the comedy business as "knob gags"), I was sometimes equally amazed by what we asked Humph to try to get away with. You must be kicking yourself. Or they can climb up to the top of the mighty tower of the Shell Centre to enjoy a panoramic vista right across half of London. "Samantha has recently taken up beekeeping with a small hive, housing just three dozen or so. Deadpan comedian Jack . After a set-piece game, he might say: "'If that dies on its arse, make them do another one.' Yours, Mona Lisa. . . Jeremy Hardy: remembering the comedians funniest jokes and quotes Derry Girls: 35 of the funniest quotes and one-liners Read about our approach to external linking. This wasn't an act - he really couldn't have cared less. With news of a part he's been holding for her. Will Somebody Shut Those Bloody Lambs Up? The chair seems equally desperate to be elsewhere, although he is now Jack Dee. I was aware, when I started Clue, that it was a case of: Wed better get some women on, but there was no sense of making me feel unwelcome or awkward. ", "You'll be accompanied on the piano by Colin Sell, one of the finest musicians of the dayof course, when night comes, something seems to desert him. 20 of the most absurdly funny quotes from Nathan Barley Naismith recalls the regulars saying that they would carry on until Humph goes and, after Lytteltons death in 2008, the recording of series 51 was cancelled. Incidentally, new listeners to the programme may be interested to know that Colin Sell was a member of several pop groups in the 60's and 70's, some of which became quite well known after he'd left them. Apparently, he's a vacuum cleaner salesman, and he's managed to get her the latest model. She says he's looking forward to showing her Cardiff and Cardigan Bay, before going on to Bangor in the back of his van. Actually, listeners may be fascinated to learn that before Christmas, Colin was employed to play the piano for The Stranglers. So I think the BBC leaned on us. And at the Naturistss Ball, please welcome, if you will: Mr and Mrs Gleebits and their son, Dan, From Poland, Mr and Mrs Vestov and their very keen daughter, Eva, The Right Honorable Mr Knott-Snowing and his lovely daughter, Gladys. "Dear Mr. Gadaffi, You must be very proud. "Psycho Killer" to the tune of "Save Your Love" (Linda Smith) 34. The 70th series of the multi-award-winning comedy panel game chaired by Jack Dee.
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